We put meanings on everything, especially with our ADHD brains that go straight to avoiding and protecting ourselves when it comes to any criticisms. Our whole lives have been about being told all that we can’t do, or be. We’re sensitive creatures who typically tend to think we’re always wrong so to protect ourselves we try really hard to make sure we’re OK with people. But our sensitivity can make any comment mean either we were great or we weren’t. That’s a lot of power to give away to someone else in how we see ourselves! In this episode I talk about some stories of what I make things mean with people, why I feel we’re doing this (a lot!) and how I’m learning to clarify the real meaning when I feel like I might have connected what happened to making an inaccurate story in my head.
What I Thought:
Feelings were facts
I responded to feelings as if they were the facts
What I Learned:
Breathe through triggers that come up
Sit with the feelings to get a sense of the thinking behind them
How I Shared:
‘I felt very x when this happened. I made it mean y (because…connection to my past experience). Can you help me see what this was about for you?
Resources:
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Changing What I Make Things Mean