It’s Never Just ADHD
Finding the Child Behind the Label
When I first met my partner over ten years ago, he told me I’d write a book one day.
I just laughed.
While it was true that I’ve always had a lot of stories to tell, the thought of writing a book was something that was once a childhood dream and people grow up, ya know?
But throughout the years, he’d keep bringing up this whole “Sandra, you should write a book” thing. Each time, I’d just laugh or brush it off. I was just a primary school teacher, a parent or I was just too damn poor or too damn busy to write anything.
Besides, I had no idea what I’d write about anyway.
But that last excuse was a lie. I knew exactly what I wanted to write about.
I’ve always had one book idea and it’s never wavered. It was one that I thought of about 5 years before we’d even met. I never told him about it but I’d (almost!) given up on it anyway. I had no idea why it was so difficult for me to stick with things. I had no idea why it was so hard for me to visualise anything, let alone the effort and time it would take to plan and write a whole ass book.
I’d have to chalk it up as another project that would never be done. But somehow that book idea just seemed to stick around even though I didn’t have a single word for it at the time. It was a book idea in theory.
This is what I had at that point:
Each chapter would tell the story of teaching a different child.
It would show how I created a classroom culture of high achievement because of cultivating a learning space of deep connection.
It would tell why a culture of belonging was the most important aspect of learning in a classroom.
The rest was a mystery, but that structure was solid and stayed hidden away in my brain for many years. So, imagine my surprise some 15 years later that my first book is in the final stages of production. If all goes well (read: I keep to the deadlines), it’ll be published in February 2024. It turns out my partner was right, (don’t ever tell him I said that though).
But what’s even more wild about this whole, “I actually wrote the book” thing is the actual structure of the book and what it’s about.
“It’s Never Just ADHD. Finding the Child Behind the Label” is a book where each chapter focuses on the story of a young (possibly) ADHD student and their relationship with me as their teacher. It explores how the many labels our learners wear can impact the support they receive for their ADHD depending on how they’re defined and by whom. It also suggests simple teaching strategies to support their learning and nervous system regulation in the classroom.
It’s a little book that throws a big punch.
But as I went through the final round of major edits last month, I realised that the real theme of this book wasn’t just ADHD. It had everything to do with connection.
Yes.
Connection.
The education system thrives in the role it was created for because of how it disconnects us from ourselves and each other (regardless of whether we’re the teachers or the students). It insists on creating learning environments that force us to either learn to betray ourselves or risk exclusion from the group in order to make us conform to Eurocentric societal norms. When made to choose between the two, we learn to self-betrayal most of the time.
But for ADHD students who are already experiencing a sense of disconnection in their hyper vigilance to what’s happening around them rather than inside their body, a learning environment that further demands they change who they are in attempt to belong feels exactly as it looks like - a threat to their sense of self. No wonder these kids can be difficult to manage in the classroom. They sense what’s up and they don’t like it. They already know they’re in a space that’s not safe enough to be themselves.
A huge part of our success in supporting these ADHD students comes from our efforts to build a culture of belonging in our classrooms. This allows us to create a space safe enough for them to develop a stronger connection to themselves and to learn skills to better connect with others. To be disconnected from their inner knowing, from the essence of who they are, keeps them from truly recognising what they need to be at their best. They’ll continue to struggle under our care.
But in order to best support others, as educators, parents and helpers, we need to be better connected to ourselves. It’s Never Just ADHD, asks us to look at the labels we’ve learned to define ourselves and others by and interrogate them. It asks us to connect to our own truths and our own humanity so that we can see the little humans behind the ADHD labels.
Because beyond all the self-regulation strategies and classroom design tricks, is the need to see the wholeness of our ADHD students. We need to understand the real barriers that keep them from thriving in their learning environments. We can’t do that if we’re only choosing to see them through the limitations of the labels we define them by.
This book has been over 15 years in the making, but I hope that it’s here just in time. We need to teach and support our ADHD learners through the lens of connection to our humanity so we can finally see the little humans behind the ADHD label too and create the environments they need to thrive.
Because it’s never just ADHD and neither are they.
We’re so much more than the labels we’ve been made to define ourselves by. My partner saw that in me over 10 years ago when we first met. I’m so grateful he refuses to stop finding more of the person I am beyond them too. It gives me the space safe enough to find more of myself and believe in the person I’m slowly recovering. It allowed me to believe in that person enough to write the pages of this book.
A book I’m so immensely proud of. I hope y’all are too.
Thank you all for being here.
Please click any of the buttons to preorder. Send the preorder link to your schools, your teachers, your friends and your family members. Buy a book for everyone you think needs to read it. There’s so much to learn and unlearn. Let’s learn to find the child behind the ADHD label, together!