searching for embodiment

one pause, one practice, one page at a time

Journaling allows me to reconnect to myself. It helps remind me of what matters in my life and connects me to the inner wisdom of my body to keep me aligned to my purpose.

a writing moment

But for a long time, as much as I tried to process things mentally, I never understood that my body was disconnected from the changes my mind wanted to make in my life. No amount of “reflecting on it” was shifting that. I knew what I need to work towards, but my body just couldn’t support it. It just didn’t have the capacity to.

Instead, I spent much of my life in hyper vigilance or in freeze mode compounding my challenges to “motivate” myself to make a change. I was a mess (at least internally!) My nervous system was stuck in survival mode, leaving me feeling helpless to change anything. It resulted in blaming and shaming myself for yet another failed attempt to better myself and my life.

How could I understand what I needed to live better and yet continue to constantly “self-sabotage” my efforts?

a page to try on your own

Yes, I learned that neurodivergence and trauma played a role in all of this, but things didn’t get significantly better for me after getting treatments either. What it did do was start me on a journey of wanting to learn more about myself and the wisdom of my body. I never understood just how much my body held the key to me becoming the person I knew myself to be. I soon found that the better I got with listening to my body, the easier I could decipher its needs and finally start meeting them.

That’s when I knew I wanted to create a different kind of journal - an embodiment one, with the kinds of questions that could uncover the unacknowledged skills, talents, values, hopes and knowledges that have sustained us through our lives this far. I wanted to design the journal I wished I’d had before, but wouldn’t be too late to have now.

Our bodies hold our inner wisdom and knowing. Our minds are what help us discern its wisdom and decide how to meet its needs. The journal I’m completing now, alongside the abstract artwork of artist Oishika Ray, works to rebuild the relationship between them.

I can’t wait to share snippets of it with you over the next month until its publication date. I hope you’ll find a powerful companion in realigning your inner compass on the journey back home to yourself. Until then, do the exercise and let me know in the comments what came up for you or the thinking or beliefs you struggle with that keep you stuck (in survival mode) in the comments below. They just might be a topic I write about in the embodiment journal too!

With love & gratitude,

SC

Feeling stuck? Burnt out? Going through a big transition? As an Integrative Narrative and Somatic Practitioner, let me help you build capacity to make the changes you need to move forward. Click to learn more on how we can work together.