This week is on self compassion and self kindness, something that I’ve realised is essential to our growth into becoming the people that we want to be, but we don’t really talk a lot about it. We do tend to talk a lot on how awful it feels to be criticised though, often because we’re ruminating on things and talking crap to ourselves the whole time.
I’m learning that in order to try new things, speak up for ourselves and generally start living the way we need to, we have to start feeling comfortable with making mistakes and doing things differently. In order to feel a lot better about that, how we talk to ourselves and how we receive criticism, because it’s inevitably going to happen, matters. Nothing about change comes easy, and if we’re still talking to ourselves in ways that make us fearful of making mistakes and making them define who we are, then we’re going to keep hidden and staying stuck.
In this episode I talk about how criticism has kept me afraid to make changes for myself, while developing coping mechanisms to avoid criticism as much as possible (which doesn’t actually work for creating a life you want for yourself by the way!). When I started thinking about all the mistakes that I was going to make on this journey, I knew that how I was treating myself, wasn’t going to be a great motivator to being brave and trying new things. It got me thinking about what I really had to do for myself, so my ongoing journey into developing a practice of self compassion began.
What I thought:
Perfectionism
People pleasing
Being Black in white space
What I know now:
Self compassion is made up of three parts
Self compassion is necessary for personal growth
What I learned/ did:
Worthiness
Mindfulness/ meditation
Tracking how I talked to myself
Progressive Language Affirmations
Changing criticisms
Doing small promises of self care
Taking more practice pauses
Takeaway:
Grab my new EBOOK: They Were Wrong About You! Self Compassion with Neurodiversity in Mind’ FREE: https://bit.ly/2Zv455h
Resources:
Defining self compassion: www.selfcompassion.org
Connect with me:
On IG @theadhdgoodlife
On FB @adhdgoodlife
On Twitter @theadhdgoodlife
My website: www.wellnessandwhiteboards.com
The Necessity for Self Compassion