This concept of our bodily discomfort as a portal to our needs...what a powerful invitation this is. Thank you for this language. And so curious about the somatic attachment work you're doing, I feel myself headed that way too (including more somatic work).
Im starting to believe that those of us with sensitive nervous systems really need to relearn what it means to take care of them. We grew up learning to “care” for them in ways that are not in alignment with what they really needed. I think that getting to know ourselves again while we integrate the trauma also must help us rebuild the relationship with our bodies too. So I’m starting to think that this kind of work is imperative for us alongside any adhd coaching systems we might put in place.
Yes, absolutely. We learned to "care" for our bodies by over-riding their natural ways of regulating and self-soothing--that isn't care, it's body-betrayal. Something I said about 9 months ago that has continued to stick with me, "the hardest part for me about being Autistic is not my relationships to others but my relationship to my body." People with surface level understanding of autism often don't get that piece--it's the alienation from body that is often the cause of so much pain.
“The alienation of the body!” Whew! This reminds me of my resources vs relationships post I just did too. We really learn to alienate our bodies in this society. I wrote some thoughts (not published yet) about the role of self criticism in this society rather than one that’s concerned with the body and its needs (self compassion). Like, no one needs that kind of criticism but especially not our systems and it’s how we learned to relate to ourselves (which is not relating at all, but drives us further apart). Hope that is somewhat clear (just an initial peek into my brain 🫠)
Totally clear, I love your free-associated thoughts on this topic and comparison of self-criticism vs. self-compassion on a body level (vs. cognitive which most self-compassion is talked about in the cognitive realm)....not to be dualistic. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this topic when you publish them (now going to go look up your resource vs. relationship post---I don't see much IG posts anymore because I'm barely on there due to how cognitively overloading it is for me now 😬
I think we have some kind of psychic connection because I've been thinking about discomfort soooo much lately. See also: the things we do to make ourselves feel safe.
Hmm... can you elaborate a little more about your thoughts on the safety part? I think developing our internal sense of safety is a huge part of this work too!
Ah damn. This was just the query I needed to read today. I am trying to move more in general (currently trying out hooping) because then stagnant feelings are more likely to move through my body and I can process them.
This concept of our bodily discomfort as a portal to our needs...what a powerful invitation this is. Thank you for this language. And so curious about the somatic attachment work you're doing, I feel myself headed that way too (including more somatic work).
Im starting to believe that those of us with sensitive nervous systems really need to relearn what it means to take care of them. We grew up learning to “care” for them in ways that are not in alignment with what they really needed. I think that getting to know ourselves again while we integrate the trauma also must help us rebuild the relationship with our bodies too. So I’m starting to think that this kind of work is imperative for us alongside any adhd coaching systems we might put in place.
Yes, absolutely. We learned to "care" for our bodies by over-riding their natural ways of regulating and self-soothing--that isn't care, it's body-betrayal. Something I said about 9 months ago that has continued to stick with me, "the hardest part for me about being Autistic is not my relationships to others but my relationship to my body." People with surface level understanding of autism often don't get that piece--it's the alienation from body that is often the cause of so much pain.
“The alienation of the body!” Whew! This reminds me of my resources vs relationships post I just did too. We really learn to alienate our bodies in this society. I wrote some thoughts (not published yet) about the role of self criticism in this society rather than one that’s concerned with the body and its needs (self compassion). Like, no one needs that kind of criticism but especially not our systems and it’s how we learned to relate to ourselves (which is not relating at all, but drives us further apart). Hope that is somewhat clear (just an initial peek into my brain 🫠)
Totally clear, I love your free-associated thoughts on this topic and comparison of self-criticism vs. self-compassion on a body level (vs. cognitive which most self-compassion is talked about in the cognitive realm)....not to be dualistic. Can't wait to read your thoughts on this topic when you publish them (now going to go look up your resource vs. relationship post---I don't see much IG posts anymore because I'm barely on there due to how cognitively overloading it is for me now 😬
I think we have some kind of psychic connection because I've been thinking about discomfort soooo much lately. See also: the things we do to make ourselves feel safe.
Hmm... can you elaborate a little more about your thoughts on the safety part? I think developing our internal sense of safety is a huge part of this work too!
Ah damn. This was just the query I needed to read today. I am trying to move more in general (currently trying out hooping) because then stagnant feelings are more likely to move through my body and I can process them.