over-complications

on the stories i tell myself

Here’s to the times when the writing comes out short, sweet and with some ease. Hope you get something out of it, too.

With love and gratitude,

SC xo

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The stories I tell myself are that some emotions are easier to feel than others.

Or that some are bad and others are good.

But our bodies don’t work within a binary structure, yet we’ve been conditioned to treat them as if they do.

I need to learn to pause when I find myself in a binary thought.

Binary thinking is just as bad for me as when I get stuck in the “shoulds”. All those rules of what I should be and should do have only made me succeed in one thing - betraying myself in hopes of fitting what I thought was expected.

I take issue with expectations (including the ones I place on myself). This is amplified by my flavour of neurodivergence.

You see, the more I give into expectations (mine or otherwise), the more I condition myself to believe that the discomfort that signals my disagreement means I’m wrong or bad. I slowly eroded my sense of self while teaching myself to embody the idea that who I am is not enough.

simplicity

No amount of external accolades has ever made me feel as whole as when I’ve taken what I viscerally know is my next best action. But I can only do that when I stay present with what is and not in the stories I tell myself.

Without all the shoulds.

Without all the expectations.

Without the binary thinking.

Just me and my body, relearning to relate to each other and discern our communication, one sensation at a time. Most of the time, the stories I tell myself complicate what could otherwise be fairly simple.

I’m learning I can be brave in my truth.

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