Sep 3, 2022·edited Sep 3, 2022Liked by Sandra Coral
My son is 10 and one thing (of many) that I admire about him is his ability (and need?) to stand up for himself when he feels wronged. I still struggle to do this for myself as a grown woman. Fortunately he is in a school where they do a good job much of the time listening to him and how he's feeling and I'm thankful for that.
On the flip side, he can become really defensive when 1) he has done something he should not have done, or 2) he hears us talking in the other room, assumes we're talking about him, and that we're being critical - when it has nothing at all to do with him, we might be talking about the dog!
It's a bit of a challenge encouraging him to learn to take ownership for things he has done wrong without him becoming super defensive.
I do so appreciate what seems like his innate sense of justice.
ugh. this breaks my heart. it reminds me of how resilience is used to describe Black folx's strength, and how some Black folx get sick of that resilience being highlighted so much...because of exactly this...because it means...Black folx have been resilient in the face of so much harm, injustice, violence and oppression........I completely hear you. And also wonder, who are the teachers who are reproaching him without reason--and what is motivating that? Is there reason, is it implicit bias, etc?
My son is 10 and one thing (of many) that I admire about him is his ability (and need?) to stand up for himself when he feels wronged. I still struggle to do this for myself as a grown woman. Fortunately he is in a school where they do a good job much of the time listening to him and how he's feeling and I'm thankful for that.
On the flip side, he can become really defensive when 1) he has done something he should not have done, or 2) he hears us talking in the other room, assumes we're talking about him, and that we're being critical - when it has nothing at all to do with him, we might be talking about the dog!
It's a bit of a challenge encouraging him to learn to take ownership for things he has done wrong without him becoming super defensive.
I do so appreciate what seems like his innate sense of justice.
I love this reflection - thank you for sharing. It's prompted me to think more about what resilience means and looks like to me.
ugh. this breaks my heart. it reminds me of how resilience is used to describe Black folx's strength, and how some Black folx get sick of that resilience being highlighted so much...because of exactly this...because it means...Black folx have been resilient in the face of so much harm, injustice, violence and oppression........I completely hear you. And also wonder, who are the teachers who are reproaching him without reason--and what is motivating that? Is there reason, is it implicit bias, etc?
Just listening to this piece on resilience from NPR and thought of your post and this thread: https://www.npr.org/2022/08/16/1117725653/why-being-resilient-might-matter-less-than-you-think