I am stunned. I resonate with so much of this. I never heard OCD or even perfectionism explained this way. That’s how I write. It is a somatic experience that says go back. I will write. Reread. “Massage” it and make changes. Then have to read the whole piece for the “flow”. If I make even the slightest change I repeat the process. It can eat days. And yet, I know sometimes the resulting writing “sings”. Which I have always thought made it “worthy”. I don’t know. OCD? Perfectionism? Somewhere in there I feel the energy/taste of the words. Like a kind of synesthesia. I feel like there is a sense making happening. And a pleasure in it. I enjoy the play. And yet at what cost? 🤔
I am stunned. I resonate with so much of this. I never heard OCD or even perfectionism explained this way. That’s how I write. It is a somatic experience that says go back. I will write. Reread. “Massage” it and make changes. Then have to read the whole piece for the “flow”. If I make even the slightest change I repeat the process. It can eat days. And yet, I know sometimes the resulting writing “sings”. Which I have always thought made it “worthy”. I don’t know. OCD? Perfectionism? Somewhere in there I feel the energy/taste of the words. Like a kind of synesthesia. I feel like there is a sense making happening. And a pleasure in it. I enjoy the play. And yet at what cost? 🤔