I relate so much. I have written so many things I haven't shared, so many letters to people that were never sent because I doubted how I'd be received and interpreted. The way I've been dealing with social anxiety has been to leave my comfort zone to connect with people I'd like to. I was always waiting for others to initiate with me, but now as I try initiating I'm realizing a lot of people are waiting. And I've isolated myself by waiting and doubting myself. I still have social anxiety but it's getting easier as I realize that it's not just me, that it just takes talking to people anyway even when I feel anxiety and doubt myself. When I just be human and my awkward neurodivergent self then people can accept me for me.
That felt like so much and a part of baggage I've been keeping. It might not be writing but communicating just feels a lot like this right now. Just wanted to say that your words and newsletter means so much to me whether they ever meet the just right in your head they are just right to me. Thank you for sharing them.
I'm also working through something similar in regards to writing homework assignments for uni and being terrified of finishing them or handing them in. It's been an ongoing struggle for me since elementary school. Long-term school projects like preparing presentations or writing term papers have always scared me so much I couldn't even start working. And it still gives my sooo much anxiety everytime, so much that I don't manage to finish all the assignments I'm supposed to get done. Not because of a lack of time, but because my fear consumes so much of my energy. I used to think it was just bacause of my bad time management skills that were criticized so often it made my afraid to fail again. But to be honest, I also felt that explanation was lacking something I wasn't able to put into words (or admit to myself) yet. Well, you've put it into words and I feel I have finally become brave enough to admit now that what scares me is also that deep down I'm still feeling inadequate. Like I have to prove I'm just good enough to be allowed to show my teachers what I wrote. And that I'd rather hand in a *perfect* piece late, than hand something in one time that might reveal that I'm not really good enough. Even though I technically know that makes no sense. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate this fear so I don't think I have any own discoveries I could share with you. But I want to thank you for sharing this because I feel less alone with this now and what you shared helped me reflect on what causes my anxiety around this more.
I relate so much. I have written so many things I haven't shared, so many letters to people that were never sent because I doubted how I'd be received and interpreted. The way I've been dealing with social anxiety has been to leave my comfort zone to connect with people I'd like to. I was always waiting for others to initiate with me, but now as I try initiating I'm realizing a lot of people are waiting. And I've isolated myself by waiting and doubting myself. I still have social anxiety but it's getting easier as I realize that it's not just me, that it just takes talking to people anyway even when I feel anxiety and doubt myself. When I just be human and my awkward neurodivergent self then people can accept me for me.
That felt like so much and a part of baggage I've been keeping. It might not be writing but communicating just feels a lot like this right now. Just wanted to say that your words and newsletter means so much to me whether they ever meet the just right in your head they are just right to me. Thank you for sharing them.
I'm also working through something similar in regards to writing homework assignments for uni and being terrified of finishing them or handing them in. It's been an ongoing struggle for me since elementary school. Long-term school projects like preparing presentations or writing term papers have always scared me so much I couldn't even start working. And it still gives my sooo much anxiety everytime, so much that I don't manage to finish all the assignments I'm supposed to get done. Not because of a lack of time, but because my fear consumes so much of my energy. I used to think it was just bacause of my bad time management skills that were criticized so often it made my afraid to fail again. But to be honest, I also felt that explanation was lacking something I wasn't able to put into words (or admit to myself) yet. Well, you've put it into words and I feel I have finally become brave enough to admit now that what scares me is also that deep down I'm still feeling inadequate. Like I have to prove I'm just good enough to be allowed to show my teachers what I wrote. And that I'd rather hand in a *perfect* piece late, than hand something in one time that might reveal that I'm not really good enough. Even though I technically know that makes no sense. I'm still trying to figure out how to navigate this fear so I don't think I have any own discoveries I could share with you. But I want to thank you for sharing this because I feel less alone with this now and what you shared helped me reflect on what causes my anxiety around this more.