We often hear that a benefit of having a neurodivergent brain is that they're great in a crisis - and they are! We get praised for how well we work under pressure and how we’re so good with urgent tasks. Hell, we’ll even lament on how we can only get work done in an emergency or under pressure (knowing all the while that we dislike doing this and it’s detrimental to our health). But what if this is just one of the many ways we learn to adjust ourselves in order to meet the expectations of a society that wants to exploit us at every turn too?
I know these brains of ours really do act fast sometimes when it’s an emergency. They can make decisions on the fly and just go with whatever needs to happen next. They’re so hypervigilant, it might feel like crisis control is our natural state. For the body, a crisis comes up as sensations of discomfort and the brain’s job is to protect it - and fast. So fast, we might not even realise we felt something off in our environment. When our bodies sense discomfort, it believes it's in danger, NOW! And it wants that discomfort to stop, RIGHT NOW too. That’s when the trusty limbic part of the brain steps in and takes over.
Only most of the time, we’re not really in danger…
We might be nervous, excited, joyful, frustrated, disappointed, embarrassed, or even scared - but we’re not in actual danger, are we? Only our bodies don’t know that. They just feel comfortable or uncomfortable. If there’s overwhelming discomfort, that must mean there's danger and that's gotta stop. That’s when the ability to pause becomes so important (and so difficult to do, so practice when you’re not in an urgent situation!) because it gives us a chance to regroup and connect to the part of our brain, that thinks first and practices discernment so we can respond in a way that’s most aligned with who we are. We don’t always have to react when we feel discomfort. It’s not always an emergency.
But because our neurodivergent brains are so good in a crisis, they’ll do whatever they can to jump in and help our body feel better in the fastest & easiest way possible. And it’s not surprising that our brains have become so good in a crisis either. Living in this society, within these kinds of environments, masking who we are, enduring sensory experiences that quickly overwhelm us, or working in ways that aren’t natural to us all bring up various levels of threats in the body. Our brains are designed to do what they can to protect us from all of it. So in that aspect, they are very good at guarding sensitive nervous systems.
But our go-to solutions to ease discomforts as fast as possible can often lean towards what we've always done. Familiar equals safe. I think when we’re working in urgency we‘re doing all we can to try to preserve ourselves, to keep in line with the expectations of the people, workplace, school etc, or community around us. These solutions can end up becoming a detriment to us as they rarely allow us to meet the underlying needs we have.
We never reflect on what caused the need for urgency in the first place, whether we’re addressing the root of the problem or even if was our problem to solve. We rarely expose the systems that caused the need for urgency to protect them either. Quite often when we’re using our ability to act under pressure, we’re in situations when the problem might be blamed on us. We don’t learn that it’s never been about us at all. But we get stuck working in energy draining patterns as if it is.
When there’s an actual emergency, being quick in a crisis is very much a benefit. We do some incredible things when we need to. But sometimes I wonder if our ability to react urgently to what someone else has deemed important is really all we’ve been told it’s made out to be.
What were you told about urgency and “being good in a crisis”? How are you reminding yourself to pause and get curious about why you feel the need to react in urgency, or not?
Sandra. Thank you for writing. “These solutions can end up becoming a detriment to us as they rarely allow us to meet the underlying needs we have.
We never reflect on what caused the need for urgency in the first place, whether we’re addressing the root of the problem or even if was our problem to solve. We rarely expose the systems that caused the need for urgency to protect them either. Quite often when we’re using our ability to act under pressure, we’re in situations when the problem might be blamed on us. We don’t learn that it’s never been about us at all. But we get stuck working in energy draining patterns as if it is. “
Sandra. U are killer for making me die laughing when I’m not even thinking Fi laughter - [ID: The arch nemesis of Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery, played by Mike Myers, is a white man with a bald head. He’s wearing a grey suit, his hands are up in air quotes. Graphics in capital letters read: “Sure it’s an emergency.” I think this is the part where he might blow up the planet or something. It probably was an emergency our brains would have squashed really well, but so many times what feels like an emergency in our body really isn’t.” End ID] - the SIDE NOTE DRIVE THRU LOLS OF THIS BIT IS DIVINE “It probably was an emergency our brains would have squashed really well, but”. As is Obvs the rest of article which is clear from number of annotations screenshots and signal messages I’m sending abt it lol to process how to let it help me guide me in our sesh today also Omg I am pausing